ME AS A BLESSING!

The title quite exaggerates my existence, as a blessing. But here I am not a walking blessing as a women (not being feminist) for a minute or two. Here I call myself a walking blessing or a worth miracle as perfectly healthy human being, sometimes in search of other worldly desires we forget that what we already have. It was yesterday when I felt pain in my stomach, I told my Amma jan that I am feeling pain in my stomach, it wasn’t a gastric pain we usually goes through but it was kind of disturbing, I didn’t ate anything junk but rather a plate of freshly homemade pancakes, so my Amma jan gave me a hand full of medicines (my parents don’t need any kind of prescriptions). The pain started by 2 pm and worsened by 8 pm and my amma told my abba to take me to the hospital but before going their my father took me to my aunt (phupo) she is a doctor but she don’t sits on the clinic. And she suggested me to have a syrup that she had and we waited for 15 minutes, I felt low because I haven’t ate or drank anything since I took those pancakes in breakfast. Meanwhile my little cousin who is one and half year old toddler crawls in (He doesn’t like me that much) and gave a really awful look because I am a jolly person who always tease him ( he was happy inside of course). I watched him with the pain and tried to ignore his stare but he was continuously staring as if he was worried why am I not teasing him. I went home back but I didn’t felt comfortable my father seeing me ( I am a chatterbox at home) silent took me to the hospital.

When I sat on the bike I felt really happy because after a very long I get out of my shell(my home) it was a month and a half that I didn’t go anywhere and that sky for instance was a way to milky way, and that moon( I am always in love) looks like a massive pearl hanging in the sky. I saw guys, old people and women and my stare was like an alien observing them (Without wearing masks it is actually pretty awful to stare). But with that pain I wasn’t scared of the stare, the headlights of bikes and cars make me feel really happy and when I saw the stall of red apples perfectly right beneath the palm tree with a sky filled with stars (mind me if I am exaggerating) was a thing that I just calmly want to sit and relax and see. So we reached the hospital and I was supposed to stand in a big row to wait for my turn to make slip for general physician department in emergency and it took hardly 15 minutes to wait and stand for my turn. And I was still feeling that pain and with that pain I went to see the doctor and he gave me an injection (which was about to change my life) and a drip, my father ( blessed to have him) was sitting beside me waiting for an empty bed for that drip, suddenly my father phone rang and my uncle called him to be helped as his tire got punctured and he has to leave me alone and I was perfectly good in health except for that pain in my stomach.

I saw to boys discussing that they are doing cheating in their viva exams I don’t how, because I tried but I failed well! And there were two kids who were continuously staring at me both were siblings a brother and a sister, to avoid that stare I smiled at the girl and naturally she smiled back, I was in pain and I don’t want it to be felt a staff member who was in charge of that drip section came to me and asked whatever supplies I had and he checked and left, so after tolerating the kids measurable stare at me my father at last came and I suggested him to take me home and inject me by himself( he is MashAllah good in everything my parents are doctors without degree Alhumdullilah) and when he asked the staff nurse he said let me inject, he opened my arms and I thought he would inject to my right side of elbow but instead he asked me to roll up my sleeves up to my shoulders and that bloody person injected me that with the power of gorilla that I couldn’t move I was numb with the pain because that needle scratched my tendons and my hand was in pain very much pain I wanted to scream but I couldn’t and those kids stood and watched me flooding with the tears, after that injection in a second or too, I felt to vomit I was in sweating badly and I stood to my father telling I want to go home but suddenly my will to stand was gone all the picture in my eyes of that hospital got blurred I thought of dying and I wanted to read Kalm e Shaddat but my lips wasn’t working and I all I could hear was the sound of my father and that staff nurse calling my name I felt heavenly going to hell, I know my words contradict sometimes but trust me losing my will was losing myself, all I remembered was I sat on wheel chair and was taken to the I.C.U emergency ward where I heard women crying and inside I thought that my time had come and I have entered in the hell everything was blur but I wished to read Kalm e shaddat but I couldn’t. There were four guys a woman who make me to the stretcher bed and a man who was touching my right hand where my hand was brutally tortured by that injection to check my blood pressure which felt down terribly and the other hand was in the hand of the staff nurse who was trying to put canola. And when I had that drip going through veins I had energy to move my lips a started reading kalm e shadat that women was continuously crying giving that ward an awful look and her mother was consoling her not to cry.

My father took his ears close to listen what I was saying but he couldn’t hear of course everybody was in emergency and my father’s phone again rang and his tune was like that of ambulance, my father asked the staff nurse what was happening to me and he replied her blood pressure went down she will be fine and actually I was recovering I wasn’t experiencing the pain again I could read the board saying “Take care of the cleanliness” I scrambled the words and could see the time it was 9: 25 and my drip was now ended, staff nurse came three time and asked my name I told him my name and he gave a smile and went back on his duty. He was actually examining my consciousness. And then I was taken back home and that journey back I felt one thing.

“Before I lose my will, to see, to smell, to taste, to walk, to talk, to express I am never going to complain anything in my life I am happy because I am healthy, and being healthy is a walking miracle experiencing that fresh air back at home, I experienced my lungs working properly, my will to sit and stand and to walk. Be happy and content at your wills, I am yes a walking miracle and I am a walking blessing”.

Stay safe and be happy for what you have.